Who knows what tomorrow brings…do you remember that song? I’m dating myself here (1980 Urban Cowboy!) but that’s the song that popped into my head as I sit in awe of where God has led me and my husband after 33 years of marriage. Never in a million years did I think this would be the journey for either of us!
We just signed a lease to rent store space that will house dreams for both my husband and me. Say what? Nowhere in our dreams or plans did this thought ever come into our minds! I’m not sure 5 years ago either of us really even had any dreams!
Like most marriages, we’ve had our share mountain top highs and valley lows throughout our years of married life. There have been times our marriage has been the rock of leaning on each other when life throws a fast curve ball, times of great joy as we watched our children grow, and times of funny inside jokes when you can’t stop laughing.
There have also been times giving up would have been easier, times of blaming each other, and times being so angry that you can hardly speak. There have been times when loving each other wasn’t a feeling but a decision. And the learning hasn’t stopped. Only in recent years have we discovered more about ourselves, each other, and more about God and who He is.
When you release your dreams and allow God to take over, who knows what tomorrow brings!
The Discoveries
Work on you
Several years ago, I was in a pretty broken state. We had gone through several life challenges as a family – parenting, financial, busy schedules, and being pulled in separate directions…and I was empty. I felt like a failure – not a good enough wife, mother, friend, employee, and honestly Christian. I was exhausted and wasn’t even fully aware of just how exhausted I was. I discovered, however, that I was never out of God’s sight or out of His hand as He knew exactly what and who I needed in my life to restore me once again. I began to dig deep within myself and began healing. In that discovered gifts I never knew I had. The discovery led me on the journey towards coaching women. Had it not been for my brokenness I’m not sure I would have ever discovered my love for coaching women. What joy I would have missed out on!
Take the time and work on you. Face the hard stuff knowing that God is right there with you. He uses all of life’s ups and downs to reveal more of who you are and who He’s created you to be!
Let go
While I was on this new journey of healing, my husband was not in the same place. He had the same circumstances as I, and was equally exhausted, but he wasn’t finding the journey back. I tried “coaching” him (not a good idea! 😁), encouraging him, nagging him, basically trying to control him so he could find his joy again. My motives were good -I wanted him happy too, but it was heavy for him – and for me. I prayed for God to change him, but then realized how I, too, needed to change. God had His own plan for my husband, and my job was to just let go and pray. Once I did, I began to see God grabbing hold of his heart. God placed a passion in his heart for crafting a good cup of coffee (okay, it really started with beer then evolved into coffee 🙄). God spoke to him loud and clear to keep moving forward, taking one small step of obedience at a time, and with each step not only did his dream take on fruition, his joy returned, his faith deepened, and our marriage grew!
Remember, God has full control and we are each on our own individual journeys. Let’s get out of the way and allow it to happen.
Patience
I’m not the most patient person in the world. I see what’s possible and I get so excited and want to dive in. Sometimes that can be a blessing and sometimes not so much. As I sit here today looking over the years, God’s timing has been perfect, even though there were times we wondered. He knew what we needed and when we needed it – in each of our lives, our marriage, everything. Our job? Relax, He’s got you and your marriage covered. We can get so impatient and wanting things to change (or slow down not wanting things to change) instead of facing things head on, trusting that God’s right there, and we lose sight of the journey. Either way God’s timing is perfect if we let go, do what we can today, and trust He has our back for tomorrow.
Grace
Oh, wow do we need grace; grace for each other and grace for ourselves. We are going to mess up! We are going to do things (intentionally or unintentionally) to make our spouse angry, or get angry with ourselves. It happens to everybody. It’s so easy to cast blame. It’s so easy to think that you would never do something like “that”. Oh my, but we all have our “that”. If we stop and try to understand each other’s perspective, to truly listen instead of trying to get our own point across, grace will fall into place. We are all on our own individual journeys trying to figure out this life.
Let’s give each other grace and champion each other as we go instead of tearing each other down. It’s hard enough with the outside world beating us down, we need our spouse’s encouragement and grace!
Common Foundation
Without a shared faith in Jesus, I’m not sure we’d still be standing. He is our Rock and the only sure thing we can stand on. We know He is for us and for our marriage. That’s worth fighting for.
Work Together
One of the most impactful things in our whole married life (with the exception of our beautiful family!) has been working together to open this store. There has been no greater joy than for me to watch my husband step out in faith and chase his dream of owning his own small business which turns out to be roasting a great cup of coffee at Straight River Coffee. The joy is equally as great for me (and for my husband for me!) as I chase my dream of coaching and encouraging women through Living Well Women’s Coaching.
Find a common vision, a common passion, something you can take on together – and work together! It’s a beautiful thing.
What, are you kidding me? Combine both of these dreams under one roof? When God planted that seed, there was no stopping us.
”Caring and community through coffee and coaching”
The ideas are endless! To GOD be the glory and may this space be a blessing to God, ourselves, and the people we serve.
Friends, don’t give up. Marriage is a beautiful gift of life-long learning about who we are, who God is, and how together we can make a difference in this world. Who knows what tomorrow brings!
