Here we go! It’s another new year! A fresh start always feels good, and the beginning of a new year brings hope for change. And when you reach that goal, maybe then it will bring the satisfaction, happiness, and acceptance that we all long for? What’s your measuring stick for success?
“This year I am finally going to lose that extra weight.”
“This year I am going to work on gaining new skills at work.”
“This is the year I am going to get on a budget and out of debt .”
The possibilities are endless! As a life coach I love the ideas of goals and moving forward! That is what coaching is all about! Bringing you where you are today, and moving forward to where you want to be! But what about when our motivation dwindles, the freshness fades, and we are back to those old habits? I’ve been there! The work starts to get hard and frustrating, and pretty soon it’s easier just to let go and go back to doing what is easy.
Through my attempts of changing parts of myself (and trust me, I’m still a work in progress!), I have discovered an important element that needs to be present before lasting change can really happen. Before one can even begin moving forward, one needs to accept that, even if nothing changes, you are still enough, still valued, and worthy, just as you are.
Let me explain. For years I fought parts of who I was. What I saw in myself were my shortcomings – I wasn’t quite good enough when I compared myself to those around me. There was always someone better than me at whatever I was comparing myself to. I never quite measured up to either my expectations, or what I thought the expectations were of others, so I would just give up.
That, my friends, was hard on my heart! It hurt my confidence, my relationships, my self-esteem! I was embarrassed to let others see me for who I was, ashamed of the weight I’d gain, the lack of progress in my work, whatever the case might have been. It was then that I realized something else needed to change for me to find the joy and acceptance that I was searching for.
Do you realize your shortcomings don’t disqualify you from your worth? It doesn’t matter what you do for a living, how many things you are involved in, how many friends you have, or how skinny/pretty you are – those things don’t give you your worth. YOU are still worthy, cherished, and greatly valued. We can be so hard on ourselves, bringing on defeat just by our self-talk.
Which one of us is perfect? Not a one.
If those things that make up who we think we are don’t give us our worth, what does? Where do we find the truth about who we are and where our worth comes from?
My son one year made this pencil holder for me. He was so excited to give it to me! He was thinking about what I would like, the colors he thought would work, how proud he was of his work, and how much he knew I would enjoy it when I opened it. That gift has special meaning to me because of the intentional thought, love, care, he put into making it just for me. If someone came along and pointed out all the flaws they saw; how, if he would have just made it this way, or if it would have been a different color, it would be of more value, I would have just let it go. To me the value didn’t come from what it could do or how it looked, the value came from who made it and how much I loved him. I would still see it as perfect and beautiful in every way. Our value isn’t contingent on what others say, how we look, or what we do. Our value is from our Creator because He loves us far beyond what we could ever understand!
That is where we get our worth from. We are worthy because of Whose we are! He is our ‘measuring stick’! That’s what will bring you the courage and confidence to step out in faith, knowing that whether you succeed or fail with the goal, you are still enough because you will have looked to the One who knows you, accepts you, and loves you just as you are.
So, set goals for 2019, looking to your Creator for who you are and He will faithfully lead you into the person He’s created youto be.
Wishing you all the best for 2019!
Pam Haglund, CPLC
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